February 10, 2005
Unsolicited Self Pity
I am having the worst 48 hours. Night before last I was giving the dogs a bath and Ping shook doggy shampoo in to my eye and I ended up in the ER with a 2nd degree chemical burn on my conjunctiva, and a giant fluid filled eyeball swollen shut. Yesterday, with my gimpy swollen eye (but a pirate patch at least) I got some kind of migraine like headache that is only responding to narcotics until they wear off an hour later and then I can't see and get nauseated from the pain again. Took a big Vicodin last night and had an allergic reaction this morning and couldn't breathe. Evie now has a cold in addition to her ear infection. This morning, on the way to daycare some arrogant old assclown in an Lexus SUV made an illegal right on red while I was making a left with a green arrow and nearly crashed into me (in the new Passat I bought Monday). Then he had the nerve to pull up alongside me, and when I shouted "Hey, I had the green arrow - my right of way!" he flipped me off. With Evie watching and screaming because the swerve and screeching halt scared the crap out of her. I wanted to run the fucker down and smash his balding skull in but my head was hurting so bad I didn't have the energy. I got Evie to daycare only to have her vomit ALL OVER ME as soon as I got her out of her carseat. At that point I just lost it. My head hurt, I was about to hurl from the smell of vomit, and when I saw the daycare director she said Evie couldnt stay because she was sick (duh). So I sat down and cried hysterically in the bathroom of the daycare office. I totally fucking lost it. I just don't think I can do this anymore. I feel like I am just not meant to be someone's mom, and it was a horrible mistake to have a baby and it isn't fair to sweet little happy Evie that I am an unreliable wreck.
Posted by jenna at February 10, 2005 01:51 PM